Why MLB is the new World Wrestling Federation

I fondly remember the old days of the World Wrestling Federation. You knew everything was fake–including the physiques–but no one cared. The characters were charismatic, the story lines were laughable yet engaging, and the wrestlers were admired for their unrelenting drive to entertain.

In short, the wrestlers would stop at nothing. And the crowd ate it up.

It’s that way in the MLB these days. The fans willingly pay a ton of money for tickets and get a hometown roster riddled with steroid users. The thing is, I am not sure the fans really care that much. They don’t have to nurse the player through middle age as a “broken down piece of meat”. Sadly, once they have laid out $300 for a pair of OK tickets at Yankee Stadium, all they really want is a few hours of entertainment. Maybe with a few 500-foot homers along the way…

If polled, I am sure that a significant percentage of fans would be in favor of dropping all forms of drug testing and turning MLB into a chemistry free-for-all. Best mixture of talent and drugs win.

In horseracing, many states allow the use of an anti-bleeding drug named Lasix. Nearly all bettors know that Lasix also has performance-enhancing qualities. However, the use of Lasix is permitted as long as its use is disclosed by the horse’s trainer. Bettors can see the Lasix designation and decide, before wagering their hard-earned money, whether the horse has a suitable mix of talent and drug therapy to outperform his competitors in the upcoming race.

Perhaps that is the right approach for MLB.

“Now playing third base for the New York Yankees, Number 13, Alex Rodriguez. Tonight, Alex will be playing with the CREAM and a small dose of ginkoba,” the announcer might say.

The fans’ outrage about steroid use in MLB is borne primarily out of a feeling of being duped. If MLB is all about being a cash cow, then just make the players report what they are taking so that your customers don’t have to feel stupid. Who knows, as fans as we just might enjoy following the sidebar story.

“Our starting pitcher tonight is 13-2 with a 1.45 ERA on just two cycles of steroids this season,” one fan might say to another. “He’s off the stuff now, because he and his wife want to have kids. But I am betting he’ll only lose 7-8 miles on the radar gun. I figure that might still be enough to win.”

I can see fans having all kinds of fun with discussions like that. Have you seem how vocal people can get when debating whether or not Airborne actually works?

You can’t stop performance-enhancing from permeating the game. So tell the players they can use whatever they want, so long as they disclose the substance. The fans already think the game is rigged in favor of the juicers anyway, so the least MLB can do is give the fans a little more entertainment value for the buck.