A Year in the Life of a Major Leaguer
A-ROD vs. SCHILL: THE DIFFERENCE THAT ONE YEAR CAN MAKE IN THE LIFE OF A MAJOR LEAGUER The Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez made waves over the past few weeks, as he took several jabs at Boston’s Curt Schilling. Excerpt from A-Rod: “To me, it was just odd, because I mean we beat him a couple of times during the year and he was crying on the bench. And then he lost Game 1 (of the ALCS) and he wouldn’t talk or anything. And, obviously, he wins Game 6 and then he’s still talking ’til today.” Schill, of course, quickly considered the source and wisely concluded that A-Rod was trying to motivate his teammates by inflaming the situation: “If that’s what he needs, cool,” Schilling said. A-Rod went on to admit that he took the loss to Boston very hard: “It’s been hard to sleep thinking about that.” Inspired by this exchange of words, we decided to draw up a list of the differences between these two high-profile players. Here goes:
10.Schilling walks with a gait that most of us would recognize as masculine and human. A-Rod jogs with a gait that is best-described as a gazelle mating prance.
9.After getting doinked by Bronson Arroyo during the regular season, A-Rod spends months plotting revenge and ultimately selects the “limp-wristed, forearm slap” as his rebuttal of choice. Schill gets roughed up in Game 1 of the ALCS and opts to get even quickly by stifling Yankees hitters with a gutsy Game 6 performance that everyone (not just Schill) is still talking about.
- Schill could buy a hotdog at his home stadium in late October. A-Rod couldn’t.
7.The stitching of Jason Varitek’s glove gets introduced to A-Rod’s running mouth, and the game later ends in a Sox win. The stitching of Boston’s team doctor gets introduced to Schill’s ankle, and the game later ends in a Sox win.
6.The good-natured Schilling arrives in Boston and immediately amuses the Sox faithful with entertaining Dunkin Donuts commercials that show him struggling as he practices his Boston accent. The self-important A-Rod is targeted by MTV’s Punk’d (all in good fun) but gets upset and later demands that the tapes of the prank be destroyed.
- Schill is sleeping just fine these days.
4.Diamondbacks struggle after Schilling’s departure. The Rangers become one of baseball’s most-improved teams after A-Rod flies the coop.
- The biggest controversy surrounding Schill’s teammate at first base is his decision to keep a historical World Series ball. The biggest controversy surrounding A-Rod’s teammate at first base is, well, you know…
- Manager’s words of wisdom to Schilling as spring training approaches: “Keep doing what you’re doing.” Manager’s words of wisdom to A-Rod as spring training approaches: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
- Schill’s got the ’04 World Series bling-ring!