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A Year in the Life of a Major Leaguer

Posted On June 22, 2019 at 12:37 pm by / Comments Off on A Year in the Life of a Major Leaguer

A-ROD vs. SCHILL: THE DIFFERENCE THAT ONE YEAR CAN MAKE IN THE LIFE OF A MAJOR LEAGUER The Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez made waves over the past few weeks, as he took several jabs at Boston’s Curt Schilling. Excerpt from A-Rod: “To me, it was just odd, because I mean we beat him a couple of times during the year and he was crying on the bench. And then he lost Game 1 (of the ALCS) and he wouldn’t talk or anything. And, obviously, he wins Game 6 and then he’s still talking ’til today.” Schill, of course, quickly considered the source and wisely concluded that A-Rod was trying to motivate his teammates by inflaming the situation: “If that’s what he needs, cool,” Schilling said. A-Rod went on to admit that he took the loss to Boston very hard: “It’s been hard to sleep thinking about that.” Inspired by this exchange of words, we decided to draw up a list of the differences between these two high-profile players. Here goes:

10.Schilling walks with a gait that most of us would recognize as masculine and human. A-Rod jogs with a gait that is best-described as a gazelle mating prance.

9.After getting doinked by Bronson Arroyo during the regular season, A-Rod spends months plotting revenge and ultimately selects the “limp-wristed, forearm slap” as his rebuttal of choice. Schill gets roughed up in Game 1 of the ALCS and opts to get even quickly by stifling Yankees hitters with a gutsy Game 6 performance that everyone (not just Schill) is still talking about.

  1. Schill could buy a hotdog at his home stadium in late October. A-Rod couldn’t.

7.The stitching of Jason Varitek’s glove gets introduced to A-Rod’s running mouth, and the game later ends in a Sox win. The stitching of Boston’s team doctor gets introduced to Schill’s ankle, and the game later ends in a Sox win.

6.The good-natured Schilling arrives in Boston and immediately amuses the Sox faithful with entertaining Dunkin Donuts commercials that show him struggling as he practices his Boston accent. The self-important A-Rod is targeted by MTV’s Punk’d (all in good fun) but gets upset and later demands that the tapes of the prank be destroyed.

  1. Schill is sleeping just fine these days.

4.Diamondbacks struggle after Schilling’s departure. The Rangers become one of baseball’s most-improved teams after A-Rod flies the coop.

  1. The biggest controversy surrounding Schill’s teammate at first base is his decision to keep a historical World Series ball. The biggest controversy surrounding A-Rod’s teammate at first base is, well, you know…
  2. Manager’s words of wisdom to Schilling as spring training approaches: “Keep doing what you’re doing.” Manager’s words of wisdom to A-Rod as spring training approaches: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
  3. Schill’s got the ’04 World Series bling-ring!