yankees hater


Posted On June 22, 2019 at 12:01 pm by / Comments Off on CHAPTER 2: YH v. NYY CAMPAIGNING FOR THE POSITION OF GOD

SPARTA, NJ; APRIL 26, 2006 — The New York Yankees control assets worth one billion dollars. Now they are attempting to control something that is Free.

Free speech, that is.

Roughly two years ago, our tiny company created a fraternity which opened its doors to like-minded people. The common thread among our “pledges”: a dislike for the Evil Empire known as the New York Yankees. The membership process was reasonably-simple. It only required a jaunt through our website. If you laughed during your tour, the initiation was complete. Visitors emailed comments and photos, many of which we posted. Fellow Haters purchased apparel adorned with our galvanizing YH logos, and wore it proudly in every state in this country (we can document that). It doesn’t matter to us whether you hate the Yankees because they spend too much money on players, because their fans are obnoxious, or because you feel that replacing Cracker Jacks with Crunch N Munch (which occurred at Yankee Stadium several years ago) was an unforgivable violation of the Take Me Out to the Ballgame credo. If you hate the Yankees, you’re always welcome here.

Shortly after the “YH with Horns” logo emerged as the predominant symbol of our movement in the spring of 2004 (thank you Curt Schilling and Stephen King), we filed for federal trademark protection. Frankly, this logo represented the only asset in the company with any significant commercial value. When it came to achieving stardom, this particular YH logo left all of our others in the dust. It was described in too many articles to count. Hell, it was referenced in two books. It was the subject of TV segments, and was immortalized in DVD form as the headdress-of-choice of Boston slugger David Ortiz. Clearly, this was a logo that stood for something that resonated with a great number of people: a distaste for the New York Yankees. Just as our trademark was about to be granted, the Yankees butted into our business. Incredulously, their attorneys claimed that the public cannot tell the difference between the YH logo, and their own interlocking NY logo. Without any other way to restrict our freedom of expression, the Yankees hitched their shut up wagon to an insultingly-thin trademark contest. They know who has the money in this case, and who doesn’t.

Most people would prefer to have nice things said about them 100% of the time. But not even God gets that kind of treatment. Yet, that is the high perch on which George Steinbrenner would apparently like to sit. The Yankees have hired a team of attorneys to clear the way for Big George’s throne in the sky. The First Amendment must be toppled to make way for this new Yankees project, but how tough is it to discard a freebie when you’ve got a billion dollars of bank?

We think it should be plenty tough. The Yankees don’t take kindly to criticism. Too bad. We don’t like the current economic landscape of baseball, in which Kansas City fans are lucky to see one hometown win per pay period. The Yankees don’t like anyone else to use interlocking letters on baseball caps. Too bad. We don’t like the fact that an interlocking NY logo originally created for use on an NYPD medal of honor (look it up; it’s true) now stands for profiteering at all costs. The Yankees don’t like it when someone stands up to them. Too bad. That cease-and-desist letter that Major League Baseball sent to us on the Yankees’ behalf two years ago failed to have its usual intimidating effect on the little guy, so here we are. Still standing up.

Next week, the Yankees legal henchmen will rake me over the coals, I mean depose me, in a Newark, NJ office complex. I’m sure I’ll need a beer when it’s all over, and perhaps some aspirin. But little do they know that in their very office building, an attorney for another firm recently placed a pair of orders for our 2006 New York Version YH caps. Just knowing that this guy is in the house somewhere makes all the difference in the world. Because as it says on another place on this website:

When the hate of many is bundled together, an immense energy force can be achieved. This force can be concentrated in a single location-like a baseball stadium-or dispersed across a nation. In either case, the force is powerfully present. The Evil Empire feels it. Thinks about it. Becomes distracted by it. And, in the end, is destroyed by it.